Joe's Blog

Our class is showing a first grade class the play Blame it on the Wolf. It’s about this: People want to sue the Big Bad Wolf because he ate Little Red Riding Hood’s grandma, and he almost ate the three little pigs. The Wolf defends himself, and by the end of the story, everybody finds out if the Wolf was guilty or not. I am playing the part of Gretel from Hansel and Gretel. You might be thinking that the Wolf did nothing in that story. Well, it turns out that the Wolf saved Eric (Hansel) and I from Haley (Auntie Pot Pie, the evil witch). You might also be thinking why I would play the part of a girl. I really just wanted to have a good amount of lines, and, besides, I can speak in a British accent this way. We’re showing the first graders on Friday. I can’t wait!

My First Blog: The Movie: Weirdness Like No Other is giving out a sneek peek after so many people begged the director, Joe (from Mrs. Ade’s class) to show one. Of course, this is just the script of the sneak peek, so there will be no part on this blog when you watch part of the hit movie. Here it is:
“No, I’m suing you,” said Daniel. Joe replied, “You can’t sue me because I sued you first!” Daniel walked away. “Why does that happen every time I sue him?” Joe said to himself. Just then, Braeden and Simon came in with the piano, and played a groovy tune. Soon, the background in the scene turns into a curtain, it opens up, and Mrs. Ade’s class starts singing 76 Trombones with fancy suits and everything, even that person who was talking about the Make It or Bake It Pizza. Daniel runs back and yells over the noise, “What is going on here?!” Joe, who is now also in a fancy suit, just looks at him and says, “Didn’t you know that this number was going to go on?”
Unfortunately, that is all the director would give to us, so, good bye!(If you have any questions, don’t ask me, ask the director. Actually, that doesn’t make any sense since I’m both– Oh, never mind.)

A long time ago, in my bedroom, I had some crazy dreams. I’m going to tell you about three. If you decide to comment, please say which dream you think is the weirdest, and if you wish, you could give a title to the third dream:

1. I Turned Into a Horse

One day, I went to an indoor pool and met some evil pirates. Then my sister, who was a girl from Disney’s Shaggy Dog, and I went to see a guy who had many potions. My sister and I drank many potions, which turned us into animals: Tigers, ostriches, and many other animals all leading up to horses. We wanted to turn back into humans, but we were stuck as horses. The guy who gave us the potions let us stay on his farm for a few days. Somehow, a few days later, my sister turned back into a human. She came over to the stable where I was, and started crying about the fact that I might never turn back into a human. But a few days later, I did, and I turned into a boy from Shaggy Dog.

2. The Mexican Robot

 One day, my grandparents, my little sister, and I went to a carnival. There, we saw a Mexican robot. We put a quarter in him and he sang a song in Mexican. At the end of the song, he said “fire” and he sneezed fire. My grandparents and my little sister also sneezed fire, so I attemped to but I couldn’t. So, I went to a karate competition where I saw someone who used to be in my karate class. She won the competition, and I got back on a bus to go to where my mom and dad were. But, I didn’t know where they were. So I got off the bus at a random stop, and the stop was at the carnival. I found the Mexican robot.  He sang his song, he sneezed fire, and I attemped to again. I still couldn’t do it.

3. Untitled

 My family went to Disneyland, where we had not gone  for a long time. We arrived at the resort hotel, but to get to our room, we had to walk around the outdoor pool. At the pool, there were rocks, mini waterfalls, and there was Winnie the Pooh, Piglet, and other characters greeting people. My family went around meeting these characters.  I kept getting water in my hair, so my parents had to put peanut butter in my hair to get it out. Once we were indoors, my parents showed me a photo. In the photo, I saw that that the water was really soap, so I understood why they were putting peanut butter in my hair. Soon, we went to a deserted shack, and now my parents were gone. My siblings and I went into the shack, and everything was dirty, covered up by sheets, and there were spiderwebs everywhere. Then we looked in a dining room, and there were thousands of ghosts. A grown female one, who was white everywhere except for her black eyes and a few black spots in her hair, came up to us and said she was on our side. Before she was dead, she was good, but when she died, she turned to the dark side. Now she was good again. We went outside, and the exterior of the shack now looked like a mansion. My siblings were gone, and Mr. Poe from The Series of Unfortunate Events appeared. We saw a golden ticket in the wall and Mr. Poe put his bowler hat over the ticket making a shadow. He took it off, and there was no ticket. He made the shadow with his hat again, and the ticket appeared where it just was. But then, there was the sound of a school bell, and all of the ghosts came out and charged at us, except for three children ghosts who were still playing in the dining room. The ghost that came with us brought us to a white limo across the street which had skeletons in the back. We tried to drive away in the limo, but it needed three keys to start. Some other person came to help us get the keys. The ghosts had a toy helicopter, which they used to stop us from getting the keys. We got the keys, and became friends with the ghosts. It turns out that this whole time I was playing a video game, so instead of playing the next level in which we become better friends with the ghosts, I went back to the home. The home place was like a palace in space. I was in a room that had pink and purple (mostly pink) pillows and couches, and there were giant windows instead of walls looking out to the stars. I found out that I had won pins from playing those levels, so I tried to win more pins by finding secrets at the home. I found a few secrets and earned princess pins, but I looked for more. I went out into space to do a minigame twice to earn more pins, but I’m not sure if I got more pins or just points.

 ”Wow,” said Dumbledore, “I really did not think this through.”  “I think we all know that, Dumbledore!” said Ron. “Harry Potter,” said Voldemort, very dramatically, “did you really think you could escape my peanut butter?” “Well, acually, I did escape it,” said Harry, “so, yeah, I did think I could.” He hoped he sounded more brave than he felt. Voldemort raised his wand. Before Harry could reach his own wand, Harry’s world went black. And so did Ron’s. And Hermione’s. And Dumbldore’s and Voldemort’s and all the Death Eaters’. The only thing everybody could see was a small leopard gecko named Mr. Kipling in a spotlight beetween Voldemort and Harry holding Voldemort’s wand. Mr. Kipling attemped to throw the wand at it’s owner, but he slipped and threw it up to the dark ceiling. “Mr. Kipling! How dare you!” yelled Voldemort. Harry still couldn’t see Voldemort. “You’re fired for being my secret pet! But, anyways, HA! You missed me!” The lights came back on, the wand came back down, it hit Voldemort on the head, and he passed out on the floor. There was an awkward silence, and then some random lady named Mrs. Ade walked in called, “Kippers! Come on!” Mr. Kipling left with Mrs. Ade, and there was another awkward silence. Then the Death Eaters picked up Voldemort and they too left. There was yet another awkward silence, and then everybody went to bed.

 The next day, even though Mr. Kipling was at some school with that Mrs. Eddie or whoever that was, Hogwarts still celebrated Mr. Kipling. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were at lunch in the Great Hall. “Oh, come on! Really!” Ron complained. “Again they celebrate Mr. Kipling, and they don’t notice the most important person in this adventure!” “And who is that, Ron?” Hermione asked. “Well,” Ron replied, “it’s obviously Mrs. Eddie–” “Ade,” Hermione corrected. “yeah, Mrs. Ade who allowed Mr. Kipling to come to our school.” Ron then started clapping, but nobody in the Great Hall clapped along with him. Ron stopped clapping, cleared his throat, and said, “So, do you want to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 on my IHaveATelephoneInMyHands1.5?” So, obviously, the moral to this story is, “This story would have never been created if Ben didn’t give the subject of peanut butter to the class.” Thanks for reading!

Coelacanths are very interesting. They are probably most famous for being thought to be extinct for 66 million years, and then fished near theComorosIslandsin 1938. Because of this, coelacanths are nicknamed “living fossils”. The coelacanth, or the scientific classification latimeria chalumnae, has lots of tiny white specks on their body, so you can tell each one apart from the other. This fish belongs to a group called the lobe-finned fishes because it has four fins. Two fins in the front, and two fins in the back. When coelacanths swim, the movements that the fins make are like the movements that a land animal, like a dog for example, makes when they walk. They swim in cool waters in the twilight zone near slopes of volcanic islands. A coelacanth’s rostral organ, which is located in the center of their snout, is filled with jelly and can sense electricity given off by their prey. Coelacanths are endangered because scientists are taking them, and studying them. About 299 coelacanths have been caught since it has been found in 1938. Their diet is cuttlefish, squid, octopus, and fish, which they swallow whole. Their predators are sharks, and probably other large deep water predators. A mother coelacanth is pregnant for about a year, and a coelacanth’s young hatch inside of the mother. Mothers can have up to 26 pups at a time. Once 60 years or less have passed, the coelacanth dies, and the cycle of life starts all over again. And I think it is very clear that I am not doing a blog on how to swallow a cat. That would be very awkward.