Super Cop

“Hello Students.  My name is Officer Roderick. Do you know what I do for my job?” I asked.  

“I know Mr. Police Man!” excitedly replied a little second grade girl.

“Yes? And what is your name?” I questioned.

“My name is Emily and I am the smarty pants in our class! You probably are a local police man, aren’t you?” Emily said impressed by her self.

“In fact I am. Very good Emily,” I stated clearly.

“Emily, or anyone else, can you predict where I live?”  I paused for a moment and then continued. “Be a scientist and make some educated guesses.”

“I’ve got this one fellow class mates,” interrupted Emily.  ”You live near us. I bet you live in Las Vegas, because that’s where we live.” Emily said confidently.

“Very good.  I work for the Las Vegas, Nevada Police Department. My station is located inside the mall.”

“Excuse me, but what is a station?” asked a little boy.

“Well in this case, a station is a building where I work.” I responded.

“Thank you, Mr. Police Officer,” said the little boy politely.

“Did any of you know that the mall is a 100,000 square foot building consisting of 400 stores?”  The students watched me with a look of awe.  “Each store is 250 square feet. I have the best station of all. My station is right outside a jewelry store named Jacobs Jewelry.  I haven’t had  one bad day.  No robberies, no gun shots, no fights, not even a  mustard spill on my uniform. On second thought, I have had a bad day. It was last September. To be specific, it was September 18, 2009. The day started off like always:” 

“Hello Mr. Hoof,” I said as I greeted the owner of Jacobs Jewelry.

“Good morning Officer Good-looking!” he replied.

Yes, my name is Roderick Good-Looking, but what can you do about it? I mean it’s not like I was alive and said, “Hey mom, Roderick is a horrible name, name me Super.  Super Good-Looking!”

As my day went on, I was hoping that I would keep my good day streak going.  So far, it was even better than usual because I saw some beautiful ladies sitting on a bench. Quickly, ran back to my locker and put on my black tuxedo.  Yes, I keep a black tuxedo in my locker, afterall, I am Roderick Good-looking.  When I came back, the ladies were gone, but I did see a man dressed in all black with a sack over his shoulder.  I could see a gun in his hand. A GUN! Like a noble police officer I reached for my gun. But I wasn’t in my police uniform and I didn’t have my gun on me! What an idiot I am, not keeping a gun on me. Even worse, the robber was walking into Jacobs Jewelry, the store that I am to be guarding! That’s when the bad day started.

I quickly ran back to my locker and got all my gear on.  Then I ran back to the crime scene.  When I raced out, I ran right into the robber and he grabbed me.  Suddenly I was caught in the hands of the crook and was being held hostage! To make matters worse, I saw 200 officers aiming their guns at me while the crook pressed a loaded gun against my head.  You are probably asking ”how do you know that the gun is loaded?” Well, I knew the gun was loaded because it was my gun, which I had just loaded before I came to the crime scene.  As a sleeping dart flew across the air and landed on me, which I still don’t know if it was intended to hit me or the robber, I started to dream about the easy days. 

I can honestly say that after that point I have no idea of what happened. All I know is that I woke up in the hospital and was told that the robber was in jail.  Right now I am thankful that I don’t have any bullet wounds, that I am alive, and that I am here telling my story to all of you second graders on the floor in front of me.“

”Mr. Police Officer, was that a true story?” asked Emily.

“Why yes Emily, it is a true story.”

“Cool!” the entire second grade class yelled.

“I hope you enjoyed my story, and will become a Police Officer to help protect, and reinforce the governments laws. But sorry, I can’t take anymore questions, I have to go back to the mall and serve my duties. See you around!”

“Bye Mr. Police Officer! Thank You!” screamed the second grade class.

“You’re welcome!”

Spring has Sprung

It was the day of days for me. The seasons had changed from Winter to Spring. I was walking down that old street of ours, called Jansen Avenue, and thinking of all those good memories I had last spring. There in the grass is where my mom fell and broke her ankle two springs ago. Maybe that memory isn’t so pleasant after all. Over there is where my friend Kyle got close-lined by the telephone pole guide wire while playing man hunt just last May. Oh, that actually wasn’t good either.  Man, were there any good times last spring at all? Oh course there were.  I like all that nature brings at this time of year. I realize that everyone should be enjoying this time of year because you never know, this one could be our last. Take it all in by using the four senses. I use my hearing, sense of smell, my terrific eyesight, and my creative hands to capture all that spring, and it’s springiness, has to offer.

Walking very quietly, I hear birds calling, crickets chirping, the rustle of leaves as they blow over the awakening ground, and a car zooming past me.  There is the sound of a lawnmower cutting the grass, a vacuum sweeping up the dust, and more…. Such as people talking to one another, dogs communicating, and cats meowing.

As I turn off my exquisite investigational sense of hearing, I now turn to the old sniffer.  Aaaahhhh  the great smell of freshly cut grass,  the sweet, sweet aroma from brightly colored flowers. I melt over the fragrance of spectacularly grilled piece of meat, and smoke from a grill somewhere out their beyond my vision.

Switching senses once again, this time flipping to my awesome correctional glasses free eyes. I distinguish the source of one scent already. It is fresh cut green grass clippings.  Instantly my eyes pick up an additional car as it goes whizzing by. Another source of an aroma is uncovered, a cluster of white, yellow, and purple flowers  on the maple and apple trees that I want to climb soon. Also I spot very tan people walking their stylish mixed colored dogs and cats, as well as a school that is empty from the rescuing weekend.

Finally using my fourth sense, my hands. I feel the sharp cutting edges of the green grass blade, pollen off from the flowers on attached to my fingers, the sweltering heat from the infrared rays of the sun, soft smooth new leaves against  my cheek , scratchy bark, smooth leather and rough stitches of a baseball, sticky leather of a soccer ball, silky green stems of a weed, and freshly chopped mulch.

Hopefully you can see, hear, smell, and feel the beautiful spring as the earth wakes up from underneath It’s arctic frosted finish of the freezing winter.  What is it that  you see, smell, hear, and feel? Take a walk, listen, sniff, look, reach out and feel. Take time to discover the season, it will reward your efforts with spectacular sounds, smell, sights, and surfaces that you would miss if your not looking for them.

Hope you enjoy this video.

This is what you should never do when you bet. First of all you shouldn’t really bet anyway. If you do bet you shouldn’t steal the persons money, you should play fair. Even if you loose you’re the one who made the bet and lost. I am trying to tell you that you should never bet. But it is your choice not mine. Be smart about betting. NEVER bet in school you could get into a lot of trouble.

Leprechauns

I woke up one chilly awkward morning and found that the world was green! I mean, really, it was as green as a sweet pea! Oh, I have forgotten to introduce myself. My name is Alexander Hamilton, the wizard of all wizards. I am one of the only wizards, in the history of wizards, who can change the worlds color.  But I didn’t change the worlds color…. Then the question is………..  who did it? AAAHHHHH the magical Wizard  Alex knows who cast this spell! It was that other evil wizard I met, the wizard of the worlds seas. He was named after the most famous wizard that ever lived! That name of _ _ _ _  Talohan! It was _ _ _ _ Talohan! I mean it was _ _ _ _ Talohan! Why can’t I say J-o-h-n Talohan?  Must be Magic! J-o-h-n Talohan must have put a spell on the world that doesn’t allow someone to say the spell castors name. In this case I can’t say the name J-o-h-n Talohan. So then I believe that he has put not one but two spells on the entire world! The name of the first spell must be called, “green forever” and the second one would be “one name block!”

The first spell of “green forever”, is a simple spell that makes the world turn completely green. Only the caster knows how long it will last! I presume that the next spell is a spell that even I can’t brake! I believe that spell is called “one name block!” This spell lasts for 12 years, and can only be applied every 100 years! The only way to overcome these two spells is to terminate the castors magic ability, or to force them to undo the spell. Wait I am incorrect.  The only person who could have cast this spell besides me, would be J-o-h-n Hoganxburg the second! I bet he is working with that one of a kind evil J-o-h-n Hoganxburg the second. That sneaky J-o-h-n Talohan! He would try to trick me! I would love to see those two masters working together as they are two of the most historical wizards in the history of wizardry.

As we approached midday, my apprentices and I headed off to the world of BLUE! (as it was called before the change.)

“Man, if I could just get my hands on him he would be Finished!” said my #1 apprentice Jeffery both excitedly and angrily.

“ Well I hope you do!” I said as enthusiastically as I possibly could.

When we approached the world of BLUE, I scream!  “Him! Over there! There is the magic man himself!”    I start to sprint!  And before J-o-h-n Talohan could react, I had my hands on him. He tried to swerve and get away from me but I wouldn’t let him go. I held on to the Brown leather jacket he was wearing with all my strength.  Just as I was about to let go from all the ruckus, he tripped, and fell onto his face. Luckily for me I landed right on top of him and so he was pinned down on the paved Black ground. Just as I put my hands on his throat and I started to squeeze,  the narrator’s voice boomed, “Tune in next time for the exiting conclusion of Leprechauns!”

“But narrator, I am just about to return the world back to normal! Why end now!?” I said disappointedly.

The narrator replied casually, “It’s time for me to leave work and go home. My day is done, so I have to stop the show.”

“Fine.” I said saddened from not having saved the world.

As the show ended, and the screen turned black, I said, “So long and good night! See you next time when I save the world!”

The narrator ended the episode when his routine casual ending, ”See you next time on another thrilling episode of Leprechauns!”

Invent an Animal

Dear Dr. Hottanburg,

I am currently in the Amazon rain forest, where I have found a strange new animal that I would like to report to you.  It is huge and has amazing talents!  Sometimes it looks like an elephant only then to look like a lion.   It’s description changes by the angle that you look at it.  At first I thought it was a lion but as I got closer I knew it had to be a new species. Man, it looks like a monster from a fairy tale! Well Dr. Hottanburg, I am writing to ask you what should I do about this information? I will make camp and keep an eye on this creature until you reply.

-Arnold

(Reply)

Dear Arnold,

I think you should investigate this animal.  Report back the details as fast as possible!  I want to see a sketch of this animal.  Please  draw it like you are a scientist. So go out there and prove to me that you can be useful.

-Dr. Hottanburg

(Reply, to the reply)

Dear Dr. Hottanburg,

I will stay here and observe this animal for you and report all the particulars. However, I demand to get a raise or else I will sell this discovery to the officials at the National Enquirer!

-Angry Arnold

(Reply, to the reply, of the reply)

Arnold,

You will only get your raise if you give me those documents and the information is accurate. So explain to me what does this “animal” looks like?  Also if possible,  send me a picture of it.  And another thing, send me a sample of that animal’s DNA!  We need to know what to call this thing.  Make up a name if you have to.

-Dr. Hottanburg

(Reply, to the reply, to the reply, of the reply)

Dr.,

I will retrieve for you everything you desire.  I will also include a picture of the animal for your approval.

-Arnold

“Ok, here goes nothing!” says Arnold as he approached the monster, now called “hamo-nano”, with needle in hand to retrieve a blood sample.  As Arnold approached the animal, he was unlucky and the animal kicked him in the head. So as a result, instead of Arnold sending Dr. Hottanburg a picture of the animal, Dr. Hottanburg received a picture of the maimed assistant, sitting in his tent, with his best suit on, and bandaged face, the caption scribbled below the image said, “ this is going to be harder than it looks! A LOT!”

(Reply, to the reply, from the reply, about the reply, refering to the reply)

Arnold,

What are you trying to pull?  So, am I really going to get that picture or do I need to send somone else to get the job done? I’d better get that picture in your next letter or else!  Well I don’t know what “or else” really means, but I warn you, you better not mess this up or you will be looking for a new job!

-Dr. Hottanburg

So Arnold sets back out to document this new animal.  Sneaking up on the hamo-nano, Arnold tried once again to capture the animal on his camera.  Startled by the flash, the hamo-nano charges at Arnold.  Just as Arnold tries to run, a jungle person drops down from a tree branch right in the path of the mad animal!  In one bite the jungle person dissapeared!   Occupied with its prey, Arnold is able to get away by swimming across the muddy Amizon river.  The hamo-nano tries to chase him but realizes it can’t swim!  Dissapointedly, the hamo-nano stomps off back into the jungle.

(Reply, to the reply, of the reply, from the reply….  Oh no more of this “reply stuff!”)

Dr. Hottanburg,

I am still here in the Amizon and guess what I have found by studing the hamo-nano?  The hamo-nano eats everything from grass and plants to lions and people. YES! PEOPLE! So Dr. Hottanburg I have your picture but only if I can keep the job! Ok I’m going to put everything on the table now, I have found out five things about the hamo-nano:

1. This animal can not swim even though it has web feet.
2. The Hamo-nano lives deep in the Amizon Rain Forest.
3. It eats everthing from plants to people.
4. The hamo-nano sounds like a horse, dog, and lion mixed together. So it says, “Naarooocaaa!”
5. The hamo-nano has brown fur, a lion’s main, big ears like an elephant, and it is as large as a hippo!

Dr. Hottanburg let me know if I can do anything else for you. If not, I will be returning on the next flight out of here. Guessing that I will be back in one week MAX!

-Arnold

Dear Arnold,

I just want to tell you that you may return and good work son!  When are you going to send that picture of the hamo-nano?  Can’t wait to see you in several days!

-Happily yours, Dr. Hottanburg

Works Cited

I got the picture at http://images2.makefive.com/images/200934/e86e505621db645c.png